Tuesday, September 10, 2013

So This is What It's Like to be a Ping-Pong Ball

So back to plastics again.  This time to meet with the surgical nurse so she can tell me thing that directly contradict what Dr R said. Sigh. She gave me a 25 page booklet that we went over front to back that contained all the dos, don'ts and time to panics. Most horrifying of all I have to stop drinking coffee and no chocolate as of ... right now.  I can't even drink tea. And I have a coupon for a free Starbucks and I'll get another freebie for my birthday.  Good free coffee going to waste, and it's even Pumpkin Spice Latte time.  The things I have to give up in order to get better. I warned everyone at work that I'll be going through withdrawal. This is not going to be fun.

I of course had myself convinced when they said 4-6 weeks that I'd manage to get back to work after 4 weeks. H seems to think that is highly unlikely and I should just come to terms with 6 weeks. No driving for 3 weeks. No lifting anything more than 10 pounds, no reaching above my head, and I will be wearing the surgical girdle and bra all the time. Oh and I get to pin four drainage grenades to them.  These have to be emptied and measured several times a day. She did recommend buying some white undershirts and cutting them down the middle to wear underneath. At least they can be washed.  Even showering is going to be interesting; have to face away from the water and no washcloths or bath sponges. Just get to lather and drip while attaching the grenades to um, well I guess I can hold them in my teeth. Actually she recommended  lanyard like I use for my work ID. The dog is so not coming near me after about the first week. No repetitive movements either, she explicitly said no housework, so there's something. Now if I can just get my dissertation done during this time.   

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