Seems like I say this every time, but each round seems harder. I wonder if I'm just getting so tired of this I can't deal with it or if the effects are truly getting worse. Round two surveys are coming in for the dissertation and I just can't seem to find the energy to start working on them. I know I need to, if I don't get this dissertation done now I'll probably never graduate. I just can't start over, that is too much to think about. There is too much time, energy and money put in to give up now. But there's just so much to do both for the dissertation and just to get better that it seems overwhelming some times.
And then there's everything going on at work. New leadership, new roles, new expectations, and I just need to learn to let go of that. But I feel like there are people counting on me. Maybe it's just ego, the world will not stop spinning if I cant get everything done. Maybe it's time to just worry about me but I have a hard time doing that. Today I'm at my parents house trying to pull my act together. Love their whirlpool tub but it only helps so much for so long. Monday is a furlough day so while there is no pay and that really hurts on top of it all, it does give me an extra day to recuperate. I really need to get motivated, I need to find some energy, I need to find some focus, but really I just want to go back to bed. I think it's time to revisit that whirlpool tub.
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