And the Research Goes On

Oh yeah the dissertation continues. A three round Delphi study? What was I thinking? Well I guess I wasn't thinking I'd have cancer while trying to do dissertation research. Silly girl. Currently I am trying to do qualitative and quantitative analysis on the first round. I will never be a statistician when I grow up.I am taking advantage of my furlough day to work on my dissertation and hopefully help the body heal. It might be nice to have the extra day of healing but the lack of paycheck is going to hurt.

Got a good response rate for round 1, although some comments were unexpected. I know one response was that I should start over as I was on the completely wrong track. Not really what I wanted to hear, but it's interesting insights and maybe something for future research. While his insights were often valid, I'm not starting over the dissertation as they were mainly outside the scope of the research I am doing. It'll take a while to get all this done as it is. This research is not the be all end all of simulation in Allied Healthcare, in fact as the panelist noted it many ways it will probably leave more questions than answers, but you have to start somewhere.

I won't go into how I messed up the first round of surveys (save for Adobe Reader - doh). Don't know if that was just mental fatigue, oversight (I mean doesn't everyone have Acrobat Pro?), or if I would've done that without the chemo brain. Probably, who knows. Luckily most of the participants have stuck with me and have been very understanding. Not that  I have told anyone that I'm going through chemo or anything, I don't want anybody doing this out of guilt or bias anyone. Now I just have to hope they stick with me through the next two rounds. Now to do the qualitative analysis while the brain is half-asleep; this should be interesting. Lord give me strength and moments of clarity. Hopefully I learned my lesson on the first survey and can manage to send out a working survey for round  two.

On another note, anyone who's known me for a while knows I have a little bit of a temper. I've worked hard over the years to get it under control, and most of the time I think I do a pretty good job. But the fatigue, pain, steroids?, and yes the fear sometimes takes its toll; and in those moments its always those closest to me that seem to get caught in the crossfire. Those who are sacrificing to help me get better, to take care of me, and my house, and my dog. Those who deserve so much thanks and praise, and sometimes I let them down. I hope someday that I can make it right.