Had another visit with Dr B to check how the Tamoxifen was going. Biggest concern is liver function. Haven't received those results yet, but my blood counts are still low. Wondering what it is to feel normal any more, not sure I'll recognize it when it comes, but still looking forward to it. I'm feeling like a walking pharmacy these days with the drugs for dealing with the drugs. I feel like my side-effects have side-effects. Still having tingling in the toes and fingers, water retention, constipation, and hot flashes. The nails are just a mess and I keep breaking them. The hot flashes are especially wonderful when they happen at work, got to love working in a cube farm. Must start dressing in layers or I may be forced to poor my water over my head as opposed to drinking it. That might get me a few looks, but then again, around here, maybe not. At this point it's hard to tell if the side-effects are residual from the chemo or from the Tamoxifen. It certainly keeps life interesting, but I really could do with some dull.
Of course I think I could live with all of these side-effects without loosing my mind if I could just get some sleep. Still have nerve pain in my back from the shingles, which Dr B said can linger for weeks. Isn't that awesome? Can't sleep on my stomach due to reconstruction, left side is still a bit sore from lymph node extraction, and right side has not been an option since I had arthroscopic surgery on that shoulder; I'm thinking there must be a way to hang from the ceiling with my toes. (Keep flashing on a scene from The Lost Boys.) I keep seeing all these commercials for the shingles vaccine these days, and I just want to scream at them as you aren't eligible for that vaccine until you are quite a bit older than myself. Why do I have to be ahead of the curve on these things?
"We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot." —
Eleanor Roosevelt
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