A Day of Thanks?

Really it's been thanksgiving a lot this year. I am  thankful my cancer was caught, thankful it was curable, thankful for parents who dropped everything to take care of me, thankful for friends and family who supported me, thankful for the kindness of strangers, thankful I made it through chemo, thankful for having a medical team I trust, and so many other things. I know I should be thankful to be working, and I guess I am thankful the government isn't still shut-down, but I'm not holding my breathe for a functional Congress next year. 

Of course I wish the dissertation was done and I didn't have to pay for another semester of school, but at least I'm still capable of finishing. Of course I have done almost no work on it since surgery, I'm afraid the writing muse has left the building. I'm hoping that by getting the blog updated the writing portion of the brain may feel some stimulation. Of course the stimulating of the synapses may be nullified by tryptophan and pumpkin pie. 

It is unfortunate that we need a holiday, one that is becoming more and more co-opted by commercialism (yes if you shop on Thanksgiving you are part of the problem), to remind us to be thankful. Every day, no matter how bad a day, there is something to be thankful for. We are inundated by polarizing hate speech these days which tells us who to blame, what to hate, and why we should be unhappy. Enough I say, let us be thankful every day, and do out best to remind others why it is good to be alive.

 "Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.
― William Arthur Ward

Dr B Follow-up On The Follow-up

Had another visit with Dr B to check how the Tamoxifen was going. Biggest concern is liver function. Haven't received those results yet, but my blood counts are still low. Wondering what it is to feel normal any more, not sure I'll recognize it when it comes, but still looking forward to it. I'm feeling like a walking pharmacy these days with the drugs for dealing with the drugs. I feel like my side-effects have side-effects.  Still having tingling in the toes and fingers, water retention, constipation, and hot flashes.  The nails are just a mess and I keep breaking them. The hot flashes are especially wonderful when they happen at work, got to love working in a cube farm. Must start dressing in layers or I may be forced to poor my water over my head as opposed to drinking it.  That might get me a few looks, but then again, around here, maybe not.  At this point it's hard to tell if the side-effects are residual from the chemo or from the Tamoxifen.  It certainly keeps life interesting, but I really could do with some dull. 

Of course I think I could live with all of these side-effects without loosing my mind if I could just get some sleep. Still have nerve pain in my back from the shingles, which Dr B said can linger for weeks. Isn't that awesome? Can't sleep on my stomach due to reconstruction, left side is still a bit sore from lymph node extraction, and right side has not been an option since I had arthroscopic surgery on that shoulder; I'm thinking there must be a way to hang from the ceiling with my toes. (Keep flashing on a scene from The Lost Boys.) I keep seeing all these commercials for the shingles vaccine these days, and I just want to scream at them as you aren't eligible for that vaccine until you are quite a bit older than myself. Why do I have to be ahead of the curve on these things?  

"We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot." — Eleanor Roosevelt

A Step Toward Normal

Returned to work today. We got a new boss right before I left and the rumors still abounded as to if the Ed Tech supervisor position would be filled. I had high hopes that the powers that be all came to agreement on where the department was heading in the six weeks I was gone. Sigh, hope spring eternal despite the fact that reality keeps getting in the way. It will be nice to just be a peon for a while, at least until I am feeling well enough to get bored.

Worked about 6-7 hours each day this week. I probably pushed it more than I had to, but I have a slight stubborn streak. Dad did act as my chauffeur however. I'm afraid by the time I'm smart enough to call it quits I'm too exhausted to drive myself home. Some day I may learn to listen when people tell me to take it easy.

"We must free ourselves of the hope that the sea will ever rest. We must learn to sail in high winds. — Aristotle Onassis